you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
