Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
