Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
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