Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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