Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
