My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
