Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
