She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
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