Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
