He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
