p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Even my vagina gasped.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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