I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize