you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
The ass gains better be worth it
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