Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
