She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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