YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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