3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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