who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
