hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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