I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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