You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
