People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
