Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
