do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
