were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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