I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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