Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
