I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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