do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I am one with the molecules
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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