True but thats because hes a fetus.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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