Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
