drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just got carded by a ten year old.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. š¦
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dogās dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a āwater bottleā. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
