we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
