Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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