im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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