I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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