Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you win again, gameday.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
