ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
