And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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