he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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