Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize