i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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