So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
What drink are we having for lunch?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
