woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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