For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
A+ Viking dick
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize