haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
