How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Everyone says I win the strip club
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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