I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
