Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
