i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
