Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize