he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
