Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
