FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
