Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize