You're completely useless in the revolution.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
