the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I believe in your delicious
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize