Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
