Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think my moral compass just broke
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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