Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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