The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You've changed since you got that strap on
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
